Everyone feels anxious sometimes. A job interview, a big decision, a worry about someone you love. But when anxiety sticks around, it can start to run the show. If that sounds familiar, you're far from alone, and there are things that can help.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is your body's alarm system. When your brain senses a threat, it switches into protection mode, whether the threat is real (a car swerving towards you) or imagined (a what-if about next week). In short bursts, that's useful. It becomes exhausting when the alarm keeps ringing and there's nothing to run from.
How anxiety can show up
- In your body: a racing heart, tight chest, tense shoulders, an upset stomach, trouble sleeping, feeling shaky or on edge
- In your thoughts: what-ifs, replaying conversations, expecting the worst, finding it hard to switch off
- In what you do: avoiding things, needing lots of reassurance, over-preparing, putting things off, pulling away from people
Why does it happen?
There's rarely one cause. Stress, big changes, past experiences, poor sleep, worry about whānau, and plain old busyness can all play a part. Some people are simply more sensitive to stress. Anxiety isn't weakness or a personal failing. It's your mind and body trying to keep you safe, just a little too enthusiastically.
Small things that can help
- Slow your breathing. Breathe in gently for a count of 4, then out for 6 to 8. A longer out-breath helps tell your body it's safe.
- Ground yourself. Notice 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell and 1 you can taste.
- Move your body. A walk, a stretch or some time outside can take the edge off.
- Write it down. Worries often feel smaller on paper than they do swirling around in your head.
- Look after the basics. Regular meals, water, sleep, and a little less caffeine can make a real difference.
- Name it. Try telling yourself, this is anxiety, and it will pass.
- Reach out. Tell someone you trust how you're feeling.
When to ask for more support
It may be time to reach out if anxiety has been around for weeks, is affecting your sleep, work or relationships, or you find yourself avoiding more and more of your life. Talking with your GP or a counsellor can help.
Counselling can give you a space to be heard, help you understand your patterns, and offer practical tools that suit you. You don't have to wait until things feel unbearable.
If you need support right now
Call or text 1737 any time, day or night, for free. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111.
You don't have to manage it alone
If anxiety has been weighing on you, I'd be glad to talk about how I can support you.
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