Deciding to try counselling can feel like a big step. Maybe you've been carrying something heavy for a while, or maybe life has just got a bit too much. Whatever brought you here, you don't need to have it all figured out. This guide walks you through what counselling is, what your options are in Aotearoa, and how to take that first step at a pace that feels okay for you.

What is counselling, really?

Counselling is a safe, confidential space to talk with someone trained to listen without judging. A counsellor isn't there to tell you what to do or to fix you. We work alongside you to help you make sense of what's happening, feel heard, and find ways forward that fit your life, your values and your whānau.

People come to counselling for all kinds of reasons, including:

• Anxiety, low mood or constant stress
• Grief and loss
• Relationship or family difficulties
• Big life changes, like a new job, a new baby or a break-up
• Feeling stuck, overwhelmed or burnt out
• Wanting to understand themselves better

You don't need a crisis or a diagnosis. If something is weighing on you, that's reason enough.

Signs it might be a good time to reach out

• Worries or low feelings that keep coming back or aren't easing
• Trouble sleeping, concentrating or enjoying things you usually like
• Pulling away from friends and whānau
• Feeling irritable, tearful or numb more than usual
• Leaning on alcohol, food or screens to cope
• A sense that you're just getting through the days

Where can you find counselling in New Zealand?

There are more options than many people realise:

• Private counsellors, who offer regular appointments at a time that suits you
• Your GP or health centre, which may be able to connect you with support in funding
• Employee assistance programmes (EAP), if your workplace offers one
• Kaupapa Māori and Pacific services, which offer support grounded in culture and community
• Community organisations and helplines
• ACC-funded counselling for people affected by sexual violence or abuse, through approved providers

If cost is a worry, it's okay to ask about options. Peak Online Counselling offers a free 15 minute phone consultation so you can ask questions and make sure we are the place for you, before committing. 

How to choose a counsellor who's right for you

Finding the right fit matters more than almost anything else. Here are some things to think about:

• Registration and training. Counselling isn't regulated by law in New Zealand in the way some health professions are, so it's a good sign when a counsellor belongs to a professional body such as the New Zealand Association of Counsellors (NZAC), which holds its members to a code of ethics. 
• Experience. Do they work with what you're going through?
• Approach and values. Some counsellors work in a structured way, others are more open and exploratory. If culture, identity or te ao Māori perspectives matter to you, it's fine to ask how a counsellor works with that.
• Practicalities. Location, online or in person, session times and cost.
• How you feel. Notice whether you feel at ease. Your gut feeling counts.

It's completely okay to try someone, and if it doesn't feel right, to try someone else.

What does counselling cost?

Fees vary across New Zealand, depending on the counsellor, the length of the session and where you live. A good counsellor will be upfront about this from the start. Don't be shy about asking about fees, cancellation policies, and whether any funding or reduced rates might apply to you.

How to prepare for your first session

You don't need to prepare anything, but a few small things can help:

• Jot down what's been on your mind, even just a few words
• Think about what you'd like to be different (it's okay if you're not sure)
• Write down any questions you'd like to ask
• Give yourself a little time before and after so you're not rushing

What to expect in the first few sessions

Early sessions are mostly about getting to know each other. You'll talk about what brought you in, we'll go over confidentiality and how we'll work together, and you set the pace. You never have to share more than you feel ready to. Over time, a clearer picture emerges of what's going on and what might help.

If you need support right now

If you're in distress or need to talk to someone now, you can call or text 1737 any time, day or night, for free. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 111.

Ready to take the first step?

Reaching out is often the hardest part, and you've already done a lot by reading this far. If you'd like to talk about whether counselling could help, I'd love to hear from you.